Why? Just... why?

I'm in Savannah. Georgia, that is. I've always wanted to see this city - it struck me as being terribly antebellum or something. In fact, it reminds me a really lot of Boston. Granted, I'm in what they call the "historic district" and haven't been anywhere else. Boston is pretty much all historic. In any case, Savannah sports the same sort of long avenues with park-like medians and cobblestone sidewalks running past nineteenth century townhouses with tiny gardens. Two or three of the avenues are retail-heavy, and the cross streets are populated with little bistro-style restaurants within a block or two of the shopping areas, and then they change over to more townhouses and churches and the like. Of course, Boston doesn't have palm trees, but we won the war so who gives a shit? Savannah also makes better use of their waterfront (fiscally speaking), with more shops and restaurants as well as an outdoor market (I didn't get a very close look, but from what I could tell, the market was of the crafty variety, not the produce type. (In which case I would have to acknowledge the connection to Haymarket in Boston.) But either way, they've developed theirs - in my opinion - much more successfully (again, fiscally-speaking). In the way of comparison, they also share a prevalence of carriage rides, old cemeteries and walking tours. Oh, and trolley tours.

I got here last night - around 6:00 I guess - and immediately set out with the dogs on our own walking tour. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but as it happened, they were having their annual "Holiday" Parade (this a revised answer offered me by the pedicab guy who first called it a "Christmas" Parade). I hate parades. Reuben hates parades (I now know), and Idgy also hates parades. Reuben was an emotional wreck. Too many people, too much chaos - and the parade hadn't even started. The dumb mutt just couldn't keep it together, so I walked him back and left him with Bubba. I kept Idgy with me and by the time we got back the parade had begun. She dealt pretty well with the screaming fire truck and it's blasting horn - she didn't like it, but she didn't fuss - but the marching band was more than she could take. She's Idgy, so of course she was good about it, but neither of my dogs (this is more Idgy than Reuben, though) like people in uniform. It freaks them out, and who could blame them? Also, strange hats. Football players, Halloween costumes, military personnel... you get the idea. Also, apparently, bandlings. So this big band (so to speak) walks by with their huge bass drums and shrieking brass, and she starts to get that confused, frightened dog look on her little face. When the firecrackers started, I looked down and she was sitting quietly next to me, shaking like a proverbial leaf. I mean, she was shaking. So we left. I hate parades. What is supposed to be fun about them? People you don't know driving at a snail's pace in boring cars; pee-wee football players walking like they've reached the final mile of a month-long death march; and fucking noise. Just more and more and louder and louder noise. It's horrible. But, on the other hand, I got a chance to observe the natives in their natural habitat.

I'll share my notes on that subject another time. For now, I have just one more thing to say - something you may already know, or at least suspect:

I am a fucking idiot. I seriously think I must be the dumbest person in the entire world. Or at least the dumbest smart person in the entire world. Somewhere between here and South Carolina - at a rest area, I believe, on Rt. 95 - I lost the front wheel of my bicycle. Yup. Misplaced a fucking wheel. A wheel big enough that looking for it would be ridiculous - as though it might have... what? Fallen between the seats or something? This great big wheel, i just... left somewhere. I haven't even ridden the fucking thing! I am constantly and consistently astonished by my own stupidity.

Also, there is the cutest little lesbian in here with her very lucky girlfriend.

I hate myself.